I, Peter, the Lordís Scribe and Storyteller, have been writing this letter for several months to friends of yesteryear. To start with, the letters were more like conversations in my thoughts, especially at night when I was unable to sleep. Eventually I penned my thoughts but had to keep trashing the letters. You see, Jesus is both my editor and audience. He cautioned me and said, "Peter, if you put my Name to it, it better be right what you write." Finally, yesterday, Jesus signed off on my letter. He said, "Peter, you nailed it. It's ready to be mailed." If you donít want to read the whole letter, scroll to the end.
Dear Friends of Yesteryear,
I have written many letters to you and trashed them all. This one survived the scrutiny of my Editor.
I sense you would like to reestablish your relationship with me and so would I with you. Let me know if I am right? Unless God helps us, it won't happen. I have asked Him to help me love you the way I loved and connected with you when we first met. Maybe my love was flawed? It probably was. Satan would not have been able to tamper with it if it had been Jesus' kind of love. I could not honestly say to you, "Even though you slay me, I will continue to love you and forgive you."
You may not even be aware of what caused the relationship to whither and die on my part. It was anger and judgment that torpedoed my heart and caused me to withdraw from you. After you got angry at me, I never felt safe with you again. You might not even recall the incident. I am not going to remind you of what happened or when. Search your heart and allow the Holy Spirit to show you when and how you wounded me or others. Unless we are aware of how we wound one another, we will do it again and again. Our next relationship most likely will be another disappointment, our next marriage, another failure.
I have gotten in touch with the unbridled anger that has also erupted in me towards others. It's ugly. I am not proud of it. I am always on guard now. It must never be allowed to explode towards anyone again, not even in my thought-life. It's an accusing spirit that comes from the pit of hell. It is written that the devil is the accuser of the brethren. Many are angry at God and blame Him for stuff. By the grace of God I have not fallen prey to accusing and blaming Him. I love and honor God more and more all the time. I would not dare finding fault with Him. He is my Father. He is my only Father. He is a good Father. His love and justice is flawless. My love, though, for his kids is still flawed. It has been very human, very conditional up till now - do nice things for me and say nice things to me and about me and I will always love you in return.
Anger is a legitimate and healthy emotion when itís under God's control. Anger needs to remain under lock and key like a gun until God tells and shows us how to express it. Even the Archangel Michael has to submit to authority and had to ask Jesus if he could wipe out Satan. He was so ready to let him have it when Jesus was crucified! Even Jesus checked first with His Father if he could turn over the money changers' tables in the temple in Jerusalem. Jesus expressed anger at the right time, the right way and for the right reason. Jesus honored His Father by always asking Him what to do, where to go, when and what to say. He never acted on his own while on earth. I have acted on my own many times. I wanted to do my own thing and not stop to ask for advice or permission. That's the reason I did not have the support of my Father, my heavenly Father. But today I know that obedience is far better than sacrifice. Today my heart delights in obeying God. When He tells me to do something or not to , I donít ask for a second opinion.
Until we realize that we don't wrestled against flesh and blood, our anger will be cruel, ugly and vengeful. Paul said, "Vengeance is mine," saith the Lord, "I will recompense." Those few words have kept me out of jail and mental hospitals. They have saved many relationships including my marriage. Rebekah and I have been walking hand in hand for 43 years.
In order to get a hunting license in Colorado, you have to take and pass a hunter safety course. We all need to take a spiritual hunter safety course so that God can trust us with His weapons of warfare. Prisons and mental hospitals will continue to be crowded with patients and prisoners, wars will continue until everyone takes and passes heaven's spiritual hunter safety course. Trusting and obeying God are the cornerstones of that course.
In 1989 we had a man from Florida stay with us who had a very angry heart. I almost lost it with him, almost. By the grace of God I didn't and learned a lot, a lot about myself and a lot about anger. In the nick of time Jesus came on the scene when I cried out to Him. How well I remember that moment. He gave me His heart of love and compassion for our guest. I wrote about this man and called the story: Portrait of a Heart. In a twinkling of an eye God not only restored my love, but gave me that agape love for Steven. Itís not that fickle on and off love. I am no good for you and you aren't good for me until we have God's agape love for each other. I am asking Him, Jesus, to give us His love for one another. It may happen instantaneously or over time.
I will be 84 next month. I hope He will do it soon. Don't allow your diagnosis of schizophrenia, bipolar, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), a leg missing or both legs missing stop you from running the race. Don't! A case in point is Nick Vujicic, born without arms and legs. He is winning the race!
If the name of your God is the same as mine, Jesus, know that He has the love and power to heal you and help you win the race; but you must earnestly ask Him and believe with your whole heart that He will. You must do the asking and praying and believing. I asked Him and He healed me and keeps on healing me. I am still a work in process. We all are! I believe you have read my testimony: "To Hell and Back" or listened to it on You Tube? You can easily find it by entering my name: Peter Laue, in your search engine.
Rebekah, my handmaiden, said many years ago, "Nice doesn't Always Cut It." Those words prompted me to adopt a new posture. I converted those words into a story and asked our web master to create a signature logo that fits those words. I now use that logo when appropriate, to sign off.
I ran this letter by Jesus and He signed off on it. We donít need legs to win the race or arms to swing a sword. We need the heart of Jesus and the mind of Christ to win the race and win the war!
Peter, the Lordís Scribe and Storyteller