October 9, 2018
I promised you that I would talk to my heavenly Father about your pain and anguish. I often go to that special chair in the Upper Room early in the morning. I take along a cup of coffee and a couple of cookies, light a candle and then give my heart free reign to have a conversation with my heavenly Father. I seldom get up empty-handed from that chair. He, my heavenly Father, shows me who I am to write a letter to. Writing letters is my sandbox. Everyone needs one.
I don't hear voices. Only on very rare occasions have I had a vision and unusual dream. When I do, they are earth-shaking and often rearrange the direction of my footsteps. Whenever I receive new and compelling marching orders, I test their origin with a fleece like Gideon did and check to see if they agree with the Word of God. Are these instructions really from God? All of that earned me the label of a paranoid schizophrenic in 1970. Praying in tongues was diagnosed as gibberish. That really hurt. The fact I was unwilling to submit to the protocol of medication made me unpopular with doctors and well-meaning friends, family and some pastors. Some celebrated when they met the "new Peter" that emerged out of his Road to Damascus experience, others rejected him, even stabbed him in the back.
Attacking my character and integrity caused me to distance myself from many. I needed approval and affirmation and found it with a handful of new friends and a few unorthodox churches. It was so healing to have people see Jesus in me and not a lunatic. I found great comfort in Jesus' words. For a time I was obsessively compulsive about reading it to the exclusion of almost everything else. I learned that whoever rejected Jesus also rejected me. I was in good company.
I am now at a point where I can address your personal pain and anguish. You mentioned that you have been alienated from your daughter for a very long time and that she does not allow you to have a relationship with your grandchildren. My handmaiden has carried a similar anguish in her heart for a very long time. She is now 82. Her broken neck may heal again, but the hope of ever reconnecting with two of her daughters from an earlier marriage has faded.
What I am telling you is becoming more and more common in our society - children hating and disrespecting their parents, best friends suddenly becoming worst enemies and innocent children looking on seeing parents hate each other. And here is what adds to the pain and confusion - both parties may have openly proclaimed and confessed that Jesus is their Lord and Savior and that they are "saved."
"Lord", I asked, "Why are you allowing this bickering, backbiting, warfare, physical and emotional pain and abuse to go on and on and stay unresolved?" He replied, "Peter, until Satan, the enemy of our souls is exposed, he cannot be dealt with. Until we fear for our very life and sanity, we will never ask the right questions or turn to God for answers. At great expense we use pills and entertainment to drown out the real issues of the heart. Doctors can replace worn out hearts and hips with newer hearts and hips. Then life goes on as usual for a few more years. Only Jesus can give us a new heart. He won't do it, though, unless we first cry out to Him with our whole heart.
"I, Jesus, have recently permitted you to experience physical and emotional devastating pain. Your handmaiden broke her neck and your lower back and hip pain was unresponsive to all that unsolicited advice so freely offered. Until you cried out to Me for answers, you were dead in the water. It is I, who brought you to that point of desperation. I did not want you to go to any more doctors or man-made solutions for answers. I wanted you to come to Me and only Me.
"And only at that point was I able to show you where you went astray and how the enemy tried to disguise himself to rob you of your life and sanity. You learned that those closest to you were stabbing you in the back with words and curses from the pit of hell. And the moment you saw that and cried out to Me for protection and healing, the physical pain began to subside. And now, you are giving the glory not only for your healed body, but also your healed mind to Me, Jesus. Now you know that He is the only one who can heal and save. At the same time I have been able to set you free from unholy judgments towards those who tried to help you but failed. They can be, but are not always my instruments. I exposed your un-crucified nature to yourself so that you would be able to see it and repent.
"Now, I will take you back to your childhood. The first few years you and your siblings lived in a Garden of Eden type setting. And then World War Two broke out. The lives of the whole family were threatened because your Mother carried Jewish blood in her veins. Your Mother's claim to fame were her gifted hands that could stroke the keys of her Steinway piano like they were her most precious friends. She loved her piano and son Peter, maybe a little too much. That's a no-no in God's Book. No child or grandchild is to take my place on the throne of someone’s heart. It is I who lifted the hedge of protection around Job and allowed Satan to take away all his prized possessions. I did that to test his character. It is I who allowed Satan to take away the gift of music from your Mother. As you so well remember, your Mother's right hand looked like a claw after "the accident". You had to take over many of the chores of cleaning, cooking, sewing on buttons and mending socks.
“It was my concern for your Mother's soul that caused me to remove the idol of music from her life so that I could eventually become her only God. I tested Abraham. Our children, grandchildren, hobbies, work and even our ministry must never replace Me as our god and joy. For many, music, that includes singing, dancing, ministries of ‘doing good like caring for the homeless and hurting’, can become such a rush, that I no longer occupy center stage in their life. The adulation and flattery of admirers is so addicting that I am left out in the dark even though my Name may be in every song. Why do you think evangelists are unable to relinquish their faces on TV screens? The devil is very able to plaster a fake charisma on faces, that includes political leaders. My purpose for coming into this sin-sick world was never to become popular, but to save the lost. I paid a big price for doing that. My aim was to please my Father no matter what.
"I took you through many dark nights of the soul so that you would learn to cry out to Me instead of anything or anyone else. The moment you said Yes, Lord and meant it, you allowed Me to take you through many trials of fire. Souls can only be cleansed and purged of impurities in the fiery furnace of affliction. You must learn to thank Me equally for both the hard times and the happy times. It is my love that purifies souls and causes them to become whole and bonded to Me. Unless you are willing to suffer with Me, your Lord and your Savior, you will never reign with Me.
This is for my Sons and Daughters, who must know My Love for them
There was a time when I called out to you in my Love: “Where are you? Come unto Me, for you are mine alone.” But you were lost in a desolate world and could not hear My voice. I created you to know Me, love Me and acquire my attributes, to be holy and sanctified, so that you would be a worthy bride unto My Spirit.
But lo, you turned away, leaving My heart empty and grieved. I willed to call you unto Myself in intimacy. So, I took all that was not of Me away, never to be part of your life again. I made you to hunger and thirst after Me alone and if you searched the entire universe over, you would not be satisfied, except in relationship to Me. You are My precious treasure. In you I live and move and have My being. It is you I cherish, for you now have a heart after my own.
When your life contained only absolute nothingness, then your wandering in the Valley of Search was over and your journey unto Me began. For all begin in the creation of the longing of My Love and all will return unto Me. I began anew in you, reconstructing and molding you from dust to clay to Spirit. For I AM God and you are My creation. As soon as you turned my uplifted face to behold mine, in full submission to My will, prostrate before Me, I could begin to reveal myself to you.
O, what joy abounded in the heavens as holy angels rejoiced at our reunion! Heaven and earth stood still as I embraced My beloved once again; and you became mine forever.
Continue in your love for Me and pray without ceasing unto Me. I will not disappoint your heart ever again, nor will you ever be far away from Me. For we are as one mind, one heart and one spirit. I AM well pleased to call you my beloved and you shall have an anointed place at My right hand. You shall call Me thy Father God and I shall call you My best beloved; and I shall name your name in the Book of Life. We will always know of our love for one another, one Spirit, singing praise in perfect harmony, rejoicing in our love forevermore.
"One of the reasons Satan has attacked your sanity, your integrity and your physical well-being and your handmaiden's life is because you have been willing to butcher those sacred cows, those things that are idols in this world. Satan hates you because you love Me to the point you are willing to risk your life for my name's sake. When you published the two letters on www.stretcherbearers.com on July 18 of last year and on September 11 of this year, you tampered with two of Satan's and the world's sacred cows. I am proud of you, Peter. What you wrote and published for Me is shaking up Satan's and this world's Kingdoms. Whenever he attacks you, he winds up shooting himself in the foot. What you published for Me is more devastating to his kingdom and will have a more lasting impact than what happened on September 11, 2001 in New York City.
"From now on when someone calls you or labels you a paranoid schizophrenic, they are manifesting their hatred for Me, Jesus in you. The world hates you because it hated Me first and you are a part of Me and my forever Kingdom. No weapon formed against you will ever prosper again. You have my permission to condemn every tongue that speaks evil against you or your handmaiden. That is the heritage of the servants of the Lord.
“Peter, you are my friend and I am your friend. You are my scribe; and you are a warrior in my army. It won’t be long before we meet face to face. Don’t allow anyone to cling to you and delay your time of departure.”
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