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I surely loved that letter with those pictures and Hellmut’s letter and Mother’s. I liked your letter very much, Hellmut. It was short; but length does not matter. What I liked is that it was so down to earth. It was so real and tangible. Everything you do, you do with so much zest and joy, and that is wonderful and the way it should be.
We have gotten the silly notion in our family that everything that is earthly and material is below the spiritual plane. We think that sin is connected with the earth and that spiritual things are connected with real happiness and goodness. But God created both worlds and I know both worlds are good.
The spiritual world has its temptations as much and as real as the physical world. When I think how a new life is created through love and earth and air, then I marvel at what God has created. I only marvel, but understand I cannot.
The question of girls has been built into a problem in our family. And girls and marriage should be as natural a thing as to eat and drink and sleep. If we only let nature take its course! There is nothing sinful about nature. It is so wonderful to see a cat with her little ones or to see a mother horse with its young ones. Such is nature; and to hold up the course of nature is a difficult thing and of no benefit to anyone.
I think it is one of the most wonderful things to see a young innocent baby in the arms of her mother. How did you feel, Mother, when you held us little ones in your arms? Was it not a wonderful thing? To think we were only earth a year before we came into the world! It is really a miracle that has happened. And it is a good thing that it has happened.
Dear Mother, if you like to eat certain things, just go ahead and eat them. There is nothing wrong about enjoying a good meal. What is bad is if you think that it is bad when you enjoy a meal. We have in our family developed an oversensitive conscience that makes life very difficult for us. I think our conscience is created more by what others think of us than what is inherently good and bad. At least I am a slave to what others think of me. Just forget about the comments of the others sometimes and have the courage to do that what you would really like to do. Courage is so important. Without courage we are like a boat without a rudder and without a sail. Hellmut has courage and I admire him for it.
I surely hope that you will get back on your feet with your health. When you feel physically on top and your nerves are not worn to an edge, then you look at life altogether different.
Since I have been eating meat again I feel that I am not brought so easily out of balance. Just listen to your good common horse-sense. And don’t have scruples about everything you do. I would like to have a healthy and happy Mother when I come back. About Hellmut I don’t have to worry. I think you know what to do to stay on top. Don’t feel bad if you don’t go to SRF (Self Realization Fellowship). Don’t worry what other people think about you. I have not been to church in four weeks. Do you think I am sinful boy if I don’t go? I was at first concerned what the people might think about me if I don’t go.
Yesterday I received a wonderful letter from Beverly. I really think she is a wonderful girl. The wise things she told me showed me that she has had many hard trials already. You like Beverly already, I think; but if you would read her letter, you would like her even more. Now that I am establishing contact with the world again, I don’t only see in Beverly the wonderful mind, but also a sweet girl that I love.
I feel quite happy today, and for every hour and for every day I feel happy, I am grateful. It is really wonderful to be happy just with the way things are. I have told myself not to will things to happen but to just let go.
Those pictures of the land, I love them. I am looking forward to helping you work the land. A person has to have some healthy physical exercise besides his mental work, otherwise the mind is put under too great a strain.
Today is the first day we could wear civilian clothes. I will be happy to wear them again when I get them. Yesterday I went to a German movie and enjoyed it. There was a lot of singing and a lot of love. And I surely wished there would have been a sweet girl next to me. But I got to be patient.
Today I stayed till 12:30 in bed, mostly sleeping and also reading a little. I just finished “The Razor’s Edge” which I enjoyed a lot. Now I am starting “East of Eden” by Steinbeck. At 12:30 I got up and went to lunch. I have been writing all afternoon. The first letter went to Beverly and the second letter to you, my dear ones. Writing paper I do not need for a long time because I can use the paper in the office. And since I type most of my letters, I use little of your paper. Thanks anyway.
Please give my regards to Reverend Bernard. In a way I pity Reverend Bernard. He is very wise now. But has that poor man suffered and is he still suffering! A man like Bernard has probably been in hell in order to be where he is now. I would wish upon no one the intense suffering that Bernard is tasting. I rather take a couple of lifetimes more and have my suffering spread a little thinner on a larger piece of bread. I would not want to go through again what I have been through the last months. But whatever comes, we have to accept it graciously out of the hand of God.
May God bless you all and bring you peace,
Your Dieter (Peter)
Thank you for your card. I was also thinking of seeing you once more, but I decided in the contrary. What I need to know you have told me, and now it is for me to get along and assert myself and fulfill my job. By right means the bird is old enough to fly. I have to fly without support from anyone else. It is intended by nature that when the young ones have reached maturity that they go away from home and even that the parents throw them out of the nest. You should have thrown me out long ago. I am on my own. It is up to me to make something out of my life. You cannot hold that protecting hand over me any more. You see, if you do not send me away from home, some higher and wiser force does it.
I am amazed how it is with the sexual forces now. Mother made so much hush, hush about it and covered it with a veil of sin. But it did not help; nature is speaking very strong in me now; and I will go out and experience it. I see it is not good to suppress anything. If I do not recognize the sex force for what it is, and that it is a natural good thing in man, it will break me. I have had some difficult days. But now that I recognize the urges in me for what they are, I am climbing up. I wish you some enjoyable days in Germany yet; and I will see you in the States in 15 months.
Many loving greetings to you, Ruth and Nati (Ruth is Peter’s older sister and Nati is his niece.)
Your Dieter (Peter)
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November 6, 1953
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My dear Mother and dear Hellmut,
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Today I received a short hand-written letter. I enjoyed that letter very much because it was so down to earth. It told me about the gold and also how you all are anxiously waiting for mail. I was especially happy to read how anxious Hellmut is about the way I am getting along. A letter like that surely calls me back among the living. I tell you, I am as anxious to come back as you are anxious to have me back. It’s surely nice to have a nice brother.
I am looking forward to doing a lot of things together with you. Going mining together, going to parties together, going on double dates together. You can have a nice date lined up for me the next day after I come back. How would it be if we rented a small apartment together and be on our own for a while? Those are just some dreams. I don’t want to attach myself to them too much, otherwise I might be disappointed. You know that is something I learned. Don’t attach yourself too much to anything. Don’t even attach yourself too wholeheartedly to spiritual things, because if you do that, and your spiritual strength leaves one day, you will be in pretty bad shape. That is why I have gotten into such a sad shape.
How merciful is that veil which leaves us ignorant. If our ambition is great and we want to know too much ahead of the time, we pay a very great price for our nosiness. I try to forget those things of the spirit that are upsetting me so much. It was not the right time. Because when the right time is there, knowledge will not upset you so much. If you wait for the right time, you will also have the strength. It seems to me that the Laue family is in a great spiritual rush, except Hellmut, who is naturally wise. Most people drive their cars too fast. We are driving too fast also in another way. Is there no one who knows what the safe speed limit is on the path?
I am going to supper now and will continue a little later. Tonight we have roast beef; at noon we had “fishies.” It tasted pretty good. I had two pieces of meat and two pieces of cake, beets, coleslaw, and a glass of mile, and now I am really full to the rim. Now I don’t have to think about it any more. I had also two candy bars in-between today. For breakfast I got up late. So I had two oranges I had put away. Then I sneaked into the ward kitchen and had some juice and cocoa. So I had a pretty substantial breakfast after all. I am gaining weight – that is sure. With clothes I weigh a hundred and fifty pounds. I think that is pretty big news. When I come back, I will be in shape to work the mine.
I am also improving on the typewriter. Today I only made a very few mistakes. If nothing extra comes in-between now, I can do the job of typing these reports alone. There will always come something extra up, though, in the army. Though, the thing to do, is to type faster and faster. And if I can’t manage the work, there is nothing to worry about, because then someone else will help out.
I decided something today; no one in the States is going to get anything from me for Christmas. Maybe, if you are so happy to get a letter from, I will write an extra one during December. If there is something you want, you will have to send me the money and I will get it for you. I will tell you why you won’t get anything for Christmas from me. My friend here wants to buy a big accordion, because he loves to play and wants to play together with me. Since I have the accordion, he played it most of the time. He could ask his parents to send him the money, but he does not want to do that because he wants to surprise them. So I am going to help buy the instrument. And after we have paid for the instrument together, I will get my money back in installments. I will enjoy it a lot not to go to the movies so often and do things that cost money, so that he can have the accordion soon and we can play together. Anyway, I could not have sent you too costly a thing for Christmas. So you have not been cheated out of too much. It will be much better for you and everyone else, if you don’t eat the candy I had intended to send you.
Tomorrow we have one of those stupid inspections. We usually have one every week. I don’t like them at all. We have to display our field equipment in a definite way, have our foot and wall lockers neat for this one; and the other boys also have to have a carbine lying on their bed. Well, if you don’t pass the inspection, the officers can’t do anything to you really. They can take away your pass for a few days, but that is about all. But it seldom happens. But this stupid sensitive mind of mine is so easily brought off its rocker, even if nothing happens. I’ll just say in my mind, you stupid son of a ……, you can’t do a thing to me. I am enclosing a few pictures which are good enough for the stove, but it is better than nothing until something better comes.
I received also that leaflet about the Cinerama, and Geoffrey’s letter, thanks a lot. You want Papa to write so often? He is a pretty busy fellow over here. You are putting pressure on Papa if you want to receive a letter every other day. That is just the way it was with you and me and my grades. You are put under unnecessary pressure, and learning becomes no fun any more. Just be happy with whatever comes along. Hellmut is under pressure in school because of the draft. That is not too comfortable a feeling.
A bit of pressure can’t hurt. But if it is so much that it squeezes the joy of life out of us, then it is too much. Some people can stand more pressure than others. But do we know how much each one can stand? I often think that some people can’t read my pressure gauge, because many times the kettle was near its breaking point. I have been having trying days. My letter does not show a big trace of it, I know. But you can take my word for it; during these times I just can’t sit down to write you a letter. But when I get out of these terrible spells when my mind won’t cooperate, I am all right again. And then I feel almost as if nothing had happened – only that I am still somewhat exhausted. You know what helps me a lot? When I get these letters from you and others in which you tell me how anxious you are to have me back; and then I also think how sad you would be if I would not come back. If I remember that, it helps me a lot.
In connection with this I remember what Reverend Bernard told about someone very dear to a dying person whispering into his ear and calling the person back to life. There is nothing more strengthening than the reassurance of a dear friend. I sometimes think of Beverly now. I am eager to receive her next letter to see how she reacts to the last one I wrote her. The last letter she wrote me showed me that she has suffered a lot already.
It seems to me that I am getting fond of Beverly now. But before I get too fond of anyone, I would like to see the town with my brother. Do you think you can stay single until I come back, Hellmut? We will see the town then and sow our wild oats before we rush into anything. Are you going out at all now, Hellmut? I think you would enjoy it if you can just get over that silly feeling that we two boys have in us that there is something about having a nice date. It’s pretty hard to hold back nature. If we recognized the forces that exist and deal with them openly, we would not have so much trouble. And trouble I have been having of late. I don’t even want to think of it. I see that I am making too many mistakes now, so it will be time for me to say good-bye to you, my dear ones.
With lots of love, your Dieter (Peter)
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November 9, 1953
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Dear Mother and Hellmut,
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I had such a nice working day today that I just want to tell you. I have a feeling that the tides are turning, and that things will become easier. I have seen myself in a light that I never need to boast of myself again. I might be cleverer than the next fellow, but better I am not. Tonight I played chess instead of writing letters. Wednesday night I will go to the circus with Lina. Papa knows her.
Your Dieter (Peter)
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November 9, 1953
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(Translated from German by Peter)
My dear Papa and dear Ruth,
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Many thanks for the postcard and pictures. Just a brief greeting to let you know that I am getting better. I had the feeling today that I have hit bottom and that I am on my way up. The thread that I was holding onto was very thin at times, but it held. Today my workday was enjoyable and I look forward to tomorrow. This is the first time in a while that I look forward to tomorrow. What a blessing.
Your Dieter (Peter)
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November 10th, 1953
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My dear Hellmut and dear Mother,
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Today I received your letter, dear Hellmut, with the Photostat of the assay certificate, together with your letter. Boy, I surely enjoy those letters; also if they are only in the form of a note. It’s sure worth a six cent stamp.
I will take the hint from you about the sport. Today I signed up to play basketball on the hospital team. I hope we start practicing soon.
If I think you will be going into the army, I have to smile. Do you really want to take the step before you are taken? You know the army has not hurt anyone yet. It is a good schooling also; but it is not always the most comfortable place. One thing the army will teach a person is to subordinate his wishes to the group spirit, and also to the person who has a couple of stripes on his arms.
It is surely nice of you to take into consideration that we will only be separated a year then. But you know if you get through with your schooling, you will get a job in the army that will be nice as a civilian job. Think things over carefully before you rush into anything. Give your ideas a chance to sort themselves out. If I would have rushed into everything headlong that came into my mind these last few weeks, I would probably be in a pretty neat fix. You know, one thing I am learning lately – one cannot be too stringent with his own ideas in the army and I think in life, also. You have to allow some leeway in your thinking so that you will fit in with the group spirit. For to be outside the group spirit means continuous struggle that can in the long run wear a person out. One can have ideas, but they should not be so singular that they make a barrier with our fellowman. It is not good to be so holy that we cannot associate with others. And you kno, that is what I have been doing.
The other day I noticed that I am no better than anyone else. I was in such a state of mind that I was ready to go out with a girl and have an affair. But that I did not do. Something prevented me or held me back. Now this sudden fanatic idea has subsided again; and I am again myself. The impulse to go out was so strong I could hardly control it. Now at least I know that I am not an angel, and that I am prone to make as many mistakes anyone else.
I do not hesitate to say that I enjoy having a date once in a while. Last Saturday I had a date. Before we went to the movies and saw “The Diary of a Lover,” we took off window shopping together. We walked arm in arm, and I enjoyed it. After the movie we both had a glass of beer. It was the first glass I had so far. But so far chocolate is still my favorite. But eating too much chocolate is as harmful as drinking too much. We should do everything in moderation. Tonight I am going to the America House to see some movies about America and also to get a little out of the hospital and get some fresh air. Today I had a pretty nice day. When the depressions wanted to come, I talked with some common sense to them. And so they did not bother me much.
It is the following morning. I have been to the America House. I saw two really nice movies; one was about constructing bridges and the other one about an island and its people in Greece. After that I walked with two German friends through the city. Both are interested to go to America. But that is nothing unusual. Everybody wants to go to America these days.
I still hope that I can find something nice for you for Christmas. It won’t be costing very much. If something should come, you know that it is selected with lots of love. Everyone is doing so much Christmas shopping so that I am getting affected by the group spirit.
Last year at this time it had snowed here already. But this year we have not had any. The air is cold and clean and fresh – no smog. The sky looks as if it might not be too long until the snow falls down. I guess that the temperature is about 38 degrees Fahrenheit. Today we have a free day; it is Armistice day. I have slept till ten o’clock, and now I am writing you. And later I will do some window shopping with some actual shopping, maybe.
How is school coming along, Hellmut? Is it hard, but interesting? You will get through the semester all right; you have done it every other time before. How about the girls at UCLA, are they taking any of your attention? I don’t think there is anything wrong if a girl takes slice of your attention. That is nature. Do you see Lillian anymore? She seems to have dropped out of the picture. I wonder what and how she doing now? I could not think that Lillian would be the girl for you.
Papa bought me another electric razor while he was here. It’s a Philips. I like it very much. It cost eleven dollars. Papa paid seven dollars and I paid four. I do not need a transformer to use that razor here or in the States. For the Sunbeam I always needed a bulky and heavy transformer, because we have 220 volts here. I saw last night Christmas calendars in a window. It would be too late now to send you any unless I send them air mail. The ones I saw cost twenty cents, and they were nice, too.
That will be all for today, dear Hellmut and Mother. I will be skipping along into town pretty soon. To walk into town takes about thirty-five minutes. I often walk. And when I don’t feel like walking, I take the streetcar. One ride on the streetcar costs 25 pfennig. That is a lot of money for the Germans. Twenty-five pfennig to them is like twenty-five cents to us.
I have not yet started to read the book you sent me. When I read it and have read it, I will tell you how I enjoyed it. I am able to concentrate better already now. I sleep tight at night. I am looking forward to what is going to happen the next day, whatever it is. But yet too often I get to dreaming of sunny California. But I imagine that one day I will have finished that dream too.
Tomorrow one of my friends is leaving for the States. I always get a funny feeling when somebody leaves. Next week I am going see Horst (Peter's cousin). He is coming to Nuernberg. Today I talked a lot to my brother, Hellmut.
Good-bye my friends, Brother and Mother
Your Dieter (Peter)
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November 18, 1953
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My dear Mother and dear Hellmut,
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It is Wednesday afternoon. I have off now. I am sitting in my room writing you and listening to the radio. Mrs. Schnuphase gave me her radio yesterday. Since her husband died, she does not want to listen to the radio anymore. But she was glad to give it to me. It brings more life into the joint and keeps you from thinking silly things.
About my typing it was this way. Whenever I had an interview and was asked what I could do, I told them everything I could do and also if I could only do it a little. Usually if you have some college behind you, you land in an office. And if you like other than office work, you say that when you get permanently assigned. This hospital here was my final destination and not until you get this far can you be sure what you will do. If you try one job and you don’t like it and don’t get along, you can ask for a transfer. The only thing that I was tested on was the German. But that is a snap.
If you really think of becoming a GI, try to call somebody’s attention to the fact that you have a brother in the service in Germany. The army makes it a policy to keep twin brothers together. Mother and you with your determination might accomplish something. It would really be wonderful if that could be worked out.
The package with civilian clothes arrived – with tea, coffee and chocolate. I enjoyed the chocolate. I ate a lot of it at one time. That was a few days ago. Today and yesterday my stomach did not want anything sweet. My appetite in general was very poor. My stomach was full, I guess. I did not eat the pie at lunchtime and that happens seldom. But I know some other reason why I have no appetite. Sunday I drank some beer with Horst. Maybe that is the cause. I rather think so.
Sonni wrote today. She said that her papers won’t be ready till the 25th. I am going over to Stuttgart next weekend. Last night we played basketball. It was so wonderful to run around and feel the sweat running over your face. That was healthy. Do you know what I have seen? I am no saint. I am a hypocrite. But to realize that is already a big step ahead. I rather like the boy who sleeps next to me. He smokes, drinks, and has fun with girls. But that does not make him bad. For he is good to me and his friends; he is always happy and he does his job well. With his way of life he has made a lot of people happy. He is leaving for the States next Friday. He has served his time and served it well. There is a boy moving into the room who is just as nice and very nice to me. We know each other from Camp Pickett. I mentioned him to you in my previous letter already.
Well, I’ll just take things with an at ease attitude. Each day is a separate parcel. Those people who know nothing about reincarnation have a lot less to worry about. They live more in the present and the reality of today. Do you know that I am getting skeptical about reincarnation? No one said anything pro or con about this to me. Just as it happened to my attitude about meat, this is coming about; and I let it be.
Good-bye and keep smiling so that others can smile. Your boy and friend,
Peter
I like the ties. I already enjoy looking at them. They brighten up my locker a lot.
Your son and brother Peter
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November 18, 1953
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(Translated from German)
My dear Papa,
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Manifold greetings and I wish you a nice trip home. Aunt Barbara wrote me a loving letter today. Please also greet Oma for me.
I am doing significantly better.
Greetings to you,
Your Dieter (Peter)
I was in Stuttgart; and I enjoyed it very much. Sonja was in Trossingen; but I could be together with Ernst. Do you know that I like that boy very much? He is a wonderful fellow and I hope that one day Sonni and Ernst will get along well together. I will ask you for $10 for Christmas. I am going to buy myself a new pair of pants. The 20 lbs I gained are noticeable in my clothes.
Good-bye and a happy December.
Your soldier-boy, Peter
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November 24, 1953
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My dear Fellows,
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I just finished another good day at the office. The work went smoothly and pleasantly. I received your letter from the 17th this morning and like it very much.
Here is something I learned. We should be tolerant with others, but also with ourselves. If we do not forgive ourselves our mistakes, we will break down under the guilt of our conscience.
Tonight I would like to go to a movie. Maybe I will see “Intermezzo” with Ingrid Bergman in German or I will see “Life begins at 17.” Sonni booked a passage for the 26th of next month. Today Karl Groetker stepped into the office. Remember him?
Your Peter
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November 27, 1953
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My good Fellows, Mother, Papa and Hellmut,
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I just picked up some pictures I took. I send you the negatives to make it a little more interesting. The pictures I am sending to someone else. The coat arrived today with the chocolate in its pocket. Yesterday I wore my suit for the first time. It felt grand. Yesterday was Thanksgiving. In the afternoon I did the following. I took a steam bath with a friend, went to a German show, and in the evening I went dancing. I had a fine conversation with a man who sat at my table. In the morning I naturally slept long. Thanks for the package. We are pretty busy just now. At the end of the month we always have to meet a deadline and get caught up with all our work. It has not snowed here yet, but it has been below 32. The weather has really been very nice. Mr. Inwood wrote me a nice letter. That is about all for today. Good-bye and may God bless you and keep your chin up.
As always your friend and son and brother, Dieter (Peter)
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November 29, 1953
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Hello, dear Papa, Mother, and Hellmut,
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It is ten o’clock Sunday morning. It is a nice day; the sun is shining, and it is not uncomfortably cold outside. I have my civilian clothes on. It feels good and looks good. I had the coat pressed right away. Yesterday evening I went into town I sat down in a café where there was dancing. I enjoyed watching young and old have their good time. I ordered a glass of wine. I sat in the café for two hours; then I slowly went through town, looked at the decorated windows and at 1130 hours I caught a streetcar which took me back to the hospital.
You are wondering if I am going to make a rank pretty soon. Well, I might. The boys who have been in the army the longest get advanced first. I don’t care whether I get a stripe or not. It means a little bit of extra money, and that I do care for. My ego would love to get a stripe. I would love to get ten stripes. When I put PFC on my letters instead of PVT, then you will know that I will have one stripe on my sleeve and about ten dollars a month more in my pocket.
I am sorry that you are so sorry about the package. You sure do not remedy the situation by being sorry. You get yourself all upset about that which does not upset me in the least. The package will come sooner or later. And if it should not arrive, that would be now reason to get all upset about. I see that our problems are very personal.
This past week I had a pleasant week. There was lots of work in the office to be done. That did not upset me; it rather helped me forget about silly personal problems. Previously the office work grew into a problem for me. I thought how can I finish this work all by myself? Now I say, “I do what time permits and that is all.” I do not come in after hours and work. That is used to do. There will always be someone to help me or do my work. I am not indispensable.
I do not know if I shall see Ruth or Renate of Xmas. I will not get a furlough because I did not apply for one soon enough. Three days is the most I could get during Xmas. But I told Ruth I would for sure visit her in the spring. At the moment I have two weeks of furlough time coming my way. I get thirty days a year.
Mr. Zeidler sent me the stub from the sweepstake ticket. We did not win anything. I am not heartbroken that I did not win. I did not expect anything. If I would have had money in my pocket now, then I would have bought a little car over here. I can very nicely, though, get along without a car. But when I get back to the States, then I will look forward to driving again.
I have been about four months in Germany now. That time past fast as I look back. But when I look forward, then the year I will be here looks like a long time. So, the thing to do is to do your work today, and not always to philosophy about the future. Whenever I occupy myself with anything else but the present, I get into a depressed mood and also become discouraged. Again I say, “How merciful is the veil which hides the past and the future.”
I am sure Papa is glad to be back in the States. It is really a wonderful place to be. I am proud to be a soldier in the American Army. If I would enter the Army today with the knowledge I have now, I would be willing to carry a rifle. It is only natural that we want to protect that which we love. When I am married and someone would want to harm my wife, then I would use my fists to protect her. To use only love as a means of defense is a wonderful thing, but love is not understood by all. This is my attitude today. It is different than it was several months ago.
I will go to eat now. When I come back I will wish you good-bye and add anything that might in the meantime enter my mind yet. I will tell you what we had to eat. We had roast beef, rice, mixed vegetables, fresh fruit salad, green salad, milk, coffee and cake. That was again a delicious and rich dinner. But, you know, they can cook the best meal for me, and it won’t taste better than a simple meal. All the delicious things that I loved to eat so much don’t mean much to me anymore, because I have those delicious things almost every day. Even my sweet spell has worn off a great deal.
Some of my buddies want to go into town tonight and see a movie and flirt with some girls. Maybe I will go along. I am rather tired now. But when I get into the fresh air and among young life, I feel fresh again. I am seldom tired during the day like I used to be; that is because I don’t think so much. To think, and especially to think in a problematic way, wears me out faster than anything else. My concentration is still not up to par, but it is already a little better. Sometimes this poor concentration gets me into embarrassing situations. It is six o’clock now. The day is done over here and only beginning in California.
The central part of the day was occupied with watching a football game and watching out for the six-year old girl of my boss. I like little children. Little children help a lot to let a person forget about his own problems. I am sure you had also many happy years, Mother, because there were four children in the house. I will be a good father when I am married and you will be the grandmother and the grandpapa. Won’t that be nice? But you must not spoil my children. Okay? The love that exists within a family must be a wonderful thing. Those things still lie ahead. It is nice to dream in that direction. I see that I am growing up, otherwise I would not be thinking that way. I hope, that you, Hellmut, will find a good and natural relationship with girls. It is a shame that the question of women has developed into a problem in our family. It need not be that way. To have a family and a girlfriend is the most natural thing in the world. It is nature, and is there something wrong with the way God has organized his Kingdom?
It has been nice chatting with you. I have let you look into my life again. I feel that I am growing up now. I am deciding for myself. We all have to, one day, and the sooner we learn this, the easier will it be one day for us when our parents have gone home. When we attach too much importance and love to one object, we will cry very much one day.
Good night and my God bless you,
Dieter (Peter)
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