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You are spoiling me so much, dear Mother. What shall I do when one day you won’t be able to write me any more letters? Don’t forget me then, when you dwell amongst the angels and I am still on my pilgrimage. I feel like writing you this letter soon and sending it by airmail. How quickly comes that last hour and how sad we will be if we have not been kind to the last moment. Oh, dear Mother, teach me to know you wherever you may be.
Yesterday noon there came a sadness in my heart as I was sitting in church. I was tired in the morning. I came to church to look for my friend and to look for strength. My friend was not there, so I sat down in the church. I tried to pray. It is hard to pray and I can only try. But who do you think soon sat down silently next to me? My friend! Like an angel of God he came. For the first time in many years I cried. The tears came from an unknown river in my heart. My friend somehow understood me and my tears.
A thought came as we were sitting together and softly speaking to each other. We did not say many words, for our hearts are so close to each other. A kind and peaceful world cannot blossom forth overnight. Kindness and peace starts with a little seed. It takes several months before a tulip bulb grows into a flower with deep red petals. The growing might be a little hard for the flower at first. It has to overcome many opposing forces like weeds or a cold night. Christ and Guru and Saint Francis and all the other saints have sown the seed. The plant of kindness has grown many leaves already. It is our job to nourish the plant daily with little deeds of kindnesses. One day we will see the most beautiful blossom our eyes have ever beheld. It will be a blossom that blooms forever.
And then we will become the blossom and bloom forever.
“Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I.” Whenever I am together with my friend, I am beginning to feel the meaning of those words. It is a mistake to feel that a handful of Conscientious Objectors are like a drop of water on a big hot stone. If we have Christ or Guru as our example, we cannot be disheartened any longer.
During the first few hours of first-aid instructions, I could not understand how we could learn very much. This real interest to help was seemingly lacking on both teachers’ and students’ sides. But I am beginning to see a little better now. I am amazed at the masterful construction of our body. And now it is much easier for me to stay awake in class. You can never tell how a little something that I can learn might save someone’s life. If we are interested, we are not tired anymore.
It happens sometimes with me that I am quite tired, but as soon as I do something for someone, I am tired no more. I am beginning to see that only if we are doing something for others are we alive. In little ways I am beginning to feel the joy in freedom from desire. The state of tension which a turkey dinner produces with the boys is not worth the tiny pleasure of a few mouthfuls of turkey. Unless we stand on the side without desire for turkey, it is hard to believe that there is much peace in freedom of desire from turkey.
But I have the feeling now that the joy in freedom from the bigger and more powerful desires must be very great.
Yesterday I realized how selfish I was. But I am glad I realized that this weed was still growing in my heart. The sky was cloudy. It seemed that it would start to rain very soon. I had on a nicely pressed uniform but no raincoat under my arm. I was wishing that it would not rain so that my neatly-pressed clothes would not get all wrinkled. How selfish of me to think this way. The plants and trees are all thirsty and would like to drink. And I, just because of my uniform, don’t want the plants to have any water.
I was so happy about your letter of Wednesday evening, dear Mother. You know, the one with the five airmail postcards and your love note and the two airmail envelopes. The mailman had put your letter under my blanket. Just as I was slipping into bed about ten-thirty, I discovered your letter. That was a real surprise. The lights were already out in the barrack, so I decided to save the letter for Sunday morning. I slept so nicely with the feeling of having a letter from you.
I have received the letter from Mrs. Bloss. I have also written her. The boys say, “I got to write a letter,” but with me it is different. I want to write my letters. With great joy I wrote a letter to Dr. Bloss. I think she has it already. I sent it by air. The letters to the old address are all being forward to me. The last letter from you was already to my new address. Everything is under control. I also received a kind letter from Reverend Walters. I think it makes you happy to know that so many kind souls remember me.
What can you send me, dear Mother and Papa and Hellmut, but what you have already sent. Your love in letters and meditations is the greatest gift you can give me. It is the greatest gift that you can give to anyone. A prayer chosen by you – one prayer chosen by each of you – that is what I would love to have. I will memorize them. And when I pray then, I will think of each of you. Each time I say your chosen prayer, I will think of you. I think this is a wonderful idea.
Today I was just about to read and throw away the Unity Weeklies I had read. Someone just happened to cross my path who was happy to have them. I was very happy about this.
The day is drawing to a close, but there is still enough light in the forest to write you. From a nearby church I hear the organ music. God gives me such beautiful hours of peace and rest. I have never found a better employer. He pays the highest wages in the world – Eternal Joy. Is that not much better a wage than a few dollars with which to see a show and pay for a steak dinner?
I will say my evening prayer together with you in the forest tonight.
“The day is done. Refreshed and sanctified with the sunshine of the day, we four pass through the portals of evening, dimly adorned with the faint stars, to enter into the Temple of Silence and worship Thee. We worship Thy Spirit of approaching calmness. What prayer shall my Mother and my Father and my Brother Hellmut and I offer, for we have no words to offer Thee? We will light a little fire of devotion on this altar of our souls. Will that light suffice to bring Thee into our dark Temple? – our dimly- lighted temple, dark with our ignorance. Come, we crave, we yearn for Thee. Come, we crave, we yearn for Thee. Om. Peace Amen!”
May peace grow forever in our hearts like the trees in the forest grow forever bigger.
Your boy in eternity, Peter
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May 6, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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I have not written since Sunday. But I have been thinking of you. I forgot all about the postcard system. I shall make use of it more liberally. One little thought on a postcard can set a whole train of thoughts going.
Today I was not quite truthful about something. I tried to ease my conscience and excuse myself by saying to the little voice that it was only a little bit untruthful. But that is unwise to do. It is delaying our growth. As we grow, the dividing line between truth and untruth becomes finer and finer. In the end there can only be complete truth. Truth alone will never rust or decay.
I felt pretty bad about what happened, but as soon as I admitted my guilt to myself and asked for forgiveness I felt better.
I received your letter with Sonja’s and also the plaque came. Thank you so much. Do you want Sonja’s letter back? May God and truth be with you always.
Your boy, Peter
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May 7, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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I surely enjoyed your letter again – the typed one with the airmail envelopes. I received it when I came back from a six-mile march. That was surely a happy surprise. That airmail envelope came in very handy. I am going to travel home to you by letter this weekend again.
For tonight only a postal! I have only one more airmail postal left.
Everything is very fine with me. I am receiving enough energy just in time and just enough. I could feel Christ and Guru walking beside me on that march today. Without them I could not have made it. We have such wonderful soul and body – refreshing rains here. I am so happy and thankful for them.
Your boy always, Peter
Sure, you can send the money and letter to the Shut-ins.
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May 8, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa, my dear Brother Hellmut,
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God knew that this letter would be written, but I did not. It happened all so suddenly, so unexpectedly that God lifted me into joy and gave me the strength to carry on. The sorrow of this week, the tired feet, the sleepy eyes, all of these things are so petty now that God has shown me His Great Love. His Great Love is always there, but I am only a blind little baby that has only been a few days in this world.
Just before I received this Great Gift of Love, I hesitated to spend a dime to make the Giver happy. I did not spend this dime for a piece of candy for someone. Oh, how I was ashamed a few minutes later. For a few minutes later, a colored boy came to my barrack from another barrack, and he asked me to come with him and share what he had received from home. A wonderful package he had received from home, filled with candy, fruit and nuts. He wanted to give me more than half of what he had received and was ready to give me all. We had divided his gift in the greatest brotherly way. Each one had a heap of wonderful things.
My colored brother, Brooks is his first name, pointed to his heap and said, “Do you know whose this is?” I said, “That’s yours.” He said, “No, that’s yours, too. Whenever you are hungry, just come over to me and we will share this until it is gone.”
Oh, I can tell you, when such a things happen, you feel great remorse for every little deed of kindness that you have failed to do. I felt so light and happy that I could not help but share again what I had received. That joy of God we cannot possibly store in a closet for ourselves and save it for a rainy day. We must pass it on to another thirsty soul. I was very thirsty tonight. I prayed to God and asked Him to help me understand His ways. Alone, I could not continue on this dusty road. My feet were so tired. I thought it was the food; I had the idea that the diet was getting me down. I don’t know what it was; just another test, I guess. But I know that God’s Great Love makes everything new. No matter what the illness may be, God is the one Healer who knows how to heal all diseases.
I was quite worried for a while that I would not get money back that I had lent away. I was afraid I would not have enough. What silliness to be worried. God will help me when I am in need. He has not let me down so far. And tonight He paid me back with the richest gift that exists: LOVE. No dollar bill compares to the joy of God.
When an old man walks up a hill carrying a heavy load on his shoulders, we should hurry up and help him. We should not wait to help until we are asked to help. Jesus did not ask the farmer to carry His cross. And Jesus would not have asked for help, except that He asked God for comfort. God sees every need. There are many lonely and hungry people in the world. They will not come to our doorstep and ask for bread. Actually, all are asking for bread, but we have as yet not learned to hear their pleading voices.
May you know for sure that God is guiding you when you are walking through the dark forest.
Could you send me a filler for the pen, please? And when you think you have some good tablets for me to take, I will take them gratefully. I will know then that they were meant for me by God.
I had two airmail postals left, not one like I wrote you before.
Your boy, always, Peter
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May 9 & 10, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa, and my dear Brother,
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There is an irresistible stream flowing between the little yellow house and wherever I am. When my thoughts just enter into the edge of the stream, I am carried away quickly. And before I know what has happened, I have landed at the little yellow house. That is why my first order of business is so likely to be a letter to you.
Did I make a casual remark about shortage of cash? That was a slip of my pen. I do not need anything in that department. I must confess that money is no longer safe in my pocket. I don’t seem to be able to manage to keep more in my pocket than what I actually need. If I would die tomorrow the excess dollar would not purchase the ticket to heaven; but the dollar I gave to someone who needed it would purchase the ticket.
It is not always easy to give so freely. Sometimes, anxious feelings creep into my mind when I lend away the money. I try to say good-bye to it when I lend it away. That way I do not have to worry about getting it back. I might not receive it from the same boy I lent it to, but I know that God is my bookkeeper. I felt that God gave me a very good interest rate on my investments when I received the gift of Love from the colored boy.
When I scratch the bottom of my pocket, I have a strong tendency to become anxious. Then I pray to God to help me understand His ways. I have to use that affirmation, “God, help me to understand Thy ways,” quite often. But God always helps.
Today, starting at six P.M., I am earning that dollar which will probably come in handy at an appropriate moment. Besides earning ten dollars, I make a boy and a mother happy. I was not very excited about working during off–duty hours, but I felt that it was God who asked me to please make a mother happy. I took a job from a boy so that he might be home on Mother’s Day. The job is really quite simple and also easy. You walk slowly up and down the street for two hours in a comfortable uniform. The next four hours you can rest or do anything you like and then walk again for two hours. This we do until we have walked altogether eight hours. I can look at many stars during this time and say many prayers.
A friend asked me for an extra pencil the other day. I lent – or, rather, I gave him a pretty nice pencil costing in the neighborhood of five whole cents. I noticed that many a letter was written with that pencil; and today my friend is still using the pencil. I was happy to know that my pencil (instead of lying uselessly in my locker) had spread so much happiness already. It is now wonderful to think how a little piece of pencil lead can bring so much joy to others.
Did I tell you how kind God is to me? He lets me go with my brother Richard to church on Saturday mornings. That is a lot nicer than training. That means that I actually have two days a week when I am on my own. The troops usually train only half a day on Saturdays. Today – this morning – my friend unexpectedly called for me and we happily walked to church together. It was a beautiful sermon that we heard. There are many people close to God.
Dear Mother, may I leave it for you to do to keep my writing supplies above the empty line? I have about enough to last me for another ten days or so. Thank you so much. I don’t know why I am asking you for this. I could buy the things in the P.X. But to receive it from my Mother’s hands is so wonderful. My Mother’s and Father’s and Brother’s hands are so very dear to me.
Well, I just came back from my first two-hour walk. Somehow I slipped onto another page. I wanted to sign off at the end of the first page, but I see now that I need a little more room. I will tell you what I will do. It is about 8:30 P.M. now. I will save this page unfinished until tomorrow. I will use the hours until midnight to gain new strength for my next walk.
One little thought before I go to sleep. Your boy is always fine. Don’t ever worry about him but pray for him. I will pray for you.
I am all finished walking guard. God was very kind to me, too. Instead of eight hours, I only had to walk five hours. I chanted and prayed; I walked straight and tried to breathe deep. The hours I walked are not lost. God strengthened my soul through Christ and Guru. I called to Master many times that night. I had the locket in my hand and asked Master to please walk beside me. The first two hours were lonely, but nevertheless necessary. God wants to strengthen and test our love for Him. But his tests are never beyond our strength to pass them. The other hours were beautiful. I saw a shooting star. I wished for one thing. What could be?
I saw a visual sign of God’s all–knowing wisdom this morning. My guard duty was during the time while breakfast was being served. I would have to eat later on by myself. The boys had eaten their breakfast and many of them came out of the mess hall with an orange in their hand. One boy asked me if I would like to have his orange. It was a beautiful orange. I had never seen the boy before. He was in a different company. I gleamed all over and gratefully accepted the gift. Contrary to regulations, I believe, I ate the orange while still on guard duty. I enjoyed the fruit very much. When I went to the kitchen for my breakfast, there was plenty of everything left for me. Only the oranges were all gone. But I had received my orange already in a wonderful way.
Dear Mother, I would like you to stop adding to my bank account the money which I am going to send from now on. I want you to put it towards the house. The house is our first order of business. After the house money is all there, we will hold counsel again on what to do next.
I have taken a nice refreshing shower after I was finished walking guard, and I also put on different clothes. Now I am sitting under my tall brother, the pine tree. He is standing so straight. I must sit and walk straighter also. The sky is blue. It is nice and warm. Under the tree in the forest, in the shade of the kind leaves, there is rest and peace and comfort. I will tell you what I am going to do now for I feel that it is just about ready. Then I will return to the forest and fall asleep on the bed that Mother Nature has prepared for all her children. The dark brown earth covered by many leaves will be my bed. Oh, how wonderful a bed! What forethought does kind Mother Nature have for her children!
It is Mother’s Day today. I am thinking of you today and every day. I thank you for the love and tenderness with which you have watched over me. I will never be too old to be your boy. I will never be too old to sit next to you and feel your loving hands on my forehead and gliding over my hair. O Mother dear, I will always love you. Oh Mother dear, I will love you always.
Your boy, forever your Dieter
I have slept so wonderful. I am tired no more. The forest will from now on be my hotel. I have never had such good accommodations. But I woke up to tell you, dear Papa and Brother Hellmut, that I love you as much as my Mother.
Your boy, Peter, Dieter
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May 12, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa, my dear Brother Hellmut,
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Your dear letters inspired me to do a deed of kindness tonight and they gave me the strength to do the deed. I did something that others consider the worst duty. But for me it was a joy to work for my Father. You cannot imagine what a joy it is to work and help when you are not asked to do so. The world will never unite if we only talk about peace across the conference table. When the boys saw what I was doing, they just could not understand. I’ll be called crazy for this, the boys, said. But you should have seen the grateful “Thank you!” I received from one boy. The boys said that I’ll never receive help from anyone in return. The thing they don’t know is that I am working for my Father. More boys noticed me because of a few dishes I washed than all the talk about goodness would have accomplished.
After a while my platoon sergeant, who happened to come into the mess hall, forbade me to work any more. He said, “You can’t take it.” But he has not learned about the wonderful ways God works. And even if I shall be working a little more than the rest, I’d rather die while working for others than sitting in an easy chair smoking a cigar.
It is no surprise to me anymore that we have wars. Just think, the person who sleeps with me in the barrack told me not to carry the load for the old man. But he only convinced me that I will help wherever my eyes see the need. May my eyesight become stronger with the years and may God give me the strength to always be true to Him.
Some boy told me tonight that he envied me for the way I am. People are asking me quite often what my religion is.
You got the right spirit, Mother. With that juice and the cake for the bus driver, we spread the true religion. The little deeds of kindnesses will sell S.R.F. to all the world.
I am not surprised that as yet people are still unkind to each other. There was a peach tree standing near the athletic field. There were little green peaches on the tree. Those little green peaches were the children of the tree. The children were little yet and still needed the mother’s care. During our free time some boys went to the peach tree and plucked many of the little peach-children. The boys threw the little green peaches at each other. I am sure that the mother peach tree wept when she saw what was happening. How can we have love for each other if we are so cruel to the peach tree?
Yesterday, some boys (including myself) were picked for a job contrary to our liking. We had to go and see a baseball game. At first I was also unhappy about this. But then I was happy again. I said to myself, “How wonderful that I may go, because if you go, someone else does not have to go.”
May I quickly answer two questions from a previous letter? I have written the Carlbergs about my things long ago. But I have, as yet, not received an answer. Maybe Ella will take care of this for me. I have written her twice since I am in the army. I still like to write her.
I am enclosing an address from a boy who would love to have a year’s subscription of Weekly Unity. I am enclosing a little money for the subscription and the house. The boy’s address is: Pvt. Mateo Infraite, U.S. 56125924, Co O-7th Bn., M.R.T.C., Camp Pickett, Virginia. Don’t worry about me losing money; there is no such thing.
I think it is time for your boy to go to bed and go to sleep. The last few days have been so rich. Don’t worry, but trust.
Your boy, forever, forever,
Peter
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May 13, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa, my dear Brother Hellmut,
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I said to God last night that I would not go to bed late today. God helped me so wonderfully during this day. Without God it would have been impossible; with God’s help it was easy. We had a six-mile road march today. I thought as I was walking along the road. God supplies each cell each second with new oxygen and food. He never forgets to feed even one cell of our body for a minute. I felt then that God also grew the plants along the road and in the field, always being aware what each cell of the animals and our bodies need. And I felt that those that were wise could go into the field and eat from the same table the animals eat from. And the wise ones would be nourished and healthy. The deer of the forest does not worry about the table not being set. Should we not copy the deer a little bit?
So much mail has been coming from you. It is so wonderful to receive mail from you. It is part of my diet. But there are many people all over the world who are in need of our love.
I also received the package today. The package is adding another member to our great family. Candy is very good, but in this warm weather it is hard to send. The chocolate and pecan clusters arrived, though, in excellent condition to eat. The food is quite plentiful and good here. So I might ask you not to send me anything with the idea of supplementing my diet. The only thing I like to nibble on are some nuts. I usually have eaten a few almonds every day. Please send, instead of me, a package to some other soldier boy. We are all in the same family. There are many boys who are still hungry.
Your love is so strong and so pure that I can feel it over here without the tangible package. And even if letters come seldom, I can feel your strong love and joy often, very often. I do not have to depend upon your letter to know that you always love me and, all times to come, will love me. You see, I have to learn to depend on wireless love, because between heaven and earth there is no such mail service as exists here.
Now I would like to tell you something important and ask you for a favor. The sooner you can take care of this for me, the nicer it would be. Would you please ask Reverend Bernard to write another letter for me containing the same information that the other one contained. But, in addition to that, it must include the additional two things: that I have always been a member in good standing, and also that Reverend Bernard knew that I already held my present ideas about killing previous to the time of my induction.
And it would also be better if the letter were notarized. This is not essential, but it would be a little better. And when you have this letter, dear Mother, would you please send it to me? I will then give it to the commanding officer of our company.
But please do me a favor. Please remember to stay calm in doing this for me. That is always important, no matter how important the other thing might seem. You can copy anything from my letters you like. But always remember that they are not really mine, they are His.
Thanks a lot for all your troubles in organizing this thing for me. I will try to think of something in regard to your question. But first I must think and sleep a little. Thank you for all your love and letters and the sweet package.
Your boy, Peter
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May 14, 1953
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My dear Mother, Papa, and Brother,
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Just a note of thanks to you for the writing supplies. They came in very handy. Right away I found someone who could use the pen tonight to write a letter of love. I am not worried about lending it. Everything comes back to its own.
A little sweet package arrived today. I will open it together with my friend when I see him the next time. All I am going to do tonight yet is to feed two slices of bread to the birds, bread that would have otherwise gone into the garbage pail for the pigs; then I will take a cold shower and then I hope to be in bed by 9:30.
Good night. May God bless you,
Your boy, Peter
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May 16, 1953
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My very dear Ones,
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The sunrise this morning is so very beautiful. If we trust in the sunrise, we can have no fear.
I was so happy about your letter, dear Papa. It was written for me.
I am going to church this morning and will be on my way very soon. Other boys might not be able to live the way I do. But I trust in God. And as great as my faith is, as great will be my vessel to receive His blessings. Passing along the blessings we receive makes our vessel larger and larger. I wish you the peace and faith that rises with the sun.
Your boy, forever and always, Peter
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May 16, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa and my dear Brother,
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It is like a prayer for me when I sit down and write you and talk with you. You are God’s messenger. God speaks to me through your voice and your letters and your love. You are showering me with so much love; may God send you His angels of peace as He is sending them daily to my side.
I wish I could write you a letter every day, for to write you is to be with you. But I feel that I must do other things also. I know you will understand. When we feel a little bit of peace and joy in our hearts, we must share it with all alike. My friend Brooks Smith, the colored boy, said that he wished we two could stay together for the next two years. I feel also that this would be nice but probably not quite right. If we have found a fountain of peace in our hearts, we must let the water run on dry and barren soil and not on the fields so much that are blossoming already.
My heart is so full of many little things that God told me these last days. May I only tell you, in this letter, that one day I will tell them to you. In these next few weeks there is work to be done. Do not worry that I will forget, for what is true and good is eternal. I will try to sleep a little more so that I may be strong.
One pearl I would like to show you that I found this week. Whenever we do anything, let us volunteer to do it. When we volunteer to work, the work changes into joy. We have the feeling, then, that we work for our Father. Already most of the boys know me just because of this little change of attitude. When work is to be done, I volunteer. And within a few days most of the personnel of the company has come to know me. Now I am more often turned down, when I volunteer, than accepted for the job.
But the spirit of willingness is starting to spread. Some boys tell me that they are embarrassed when they see me helping others. The fire can’t help but catch other hearts on fire. The boys tell me often that no one appreciates enough what I do, or they say that I am being taken advantage of. But there really exists no such thing as being taken advantage of. How many of the lepers thanked Jesus for their being healed? Only one. Jesus did not stop ministering to the needs of others because of this. When he received no “Thank You,” He showered the people with even greater love and light. Only the light can drive away the darkness.
Tomorrow I am working for my Father in the kitchen. Once we want to do everything, we like to do everything. Dear Mother, this wonderful thing, I learned, it came through the inspiration of your letter to me. I think it was May 8th. I worked in the kitchen that evening without being asked, remember? After working in the kitchen, I still wrote you a letter. That is why my letter showed some tiredness.
But who doesn’t not get tired after a day’s work? Even God needed to rest after creating the world. Well, maybe God did not have to rest, but He did provide for the night and Sunday that you and I may rest. Don’t worry, my dear Ones, God sees my every need; He walks by my side. He gives me almonds through your hands and He fills my tray every day with what I need. The greater our Faith, the closer can we feel His great Love and guiding Hand. “Become you as little children” is such a wonderful counsel. Until I was about thirteen, I do not remember that I worried about the tomorrow. I knew that my parents were caring for me. And now I am once more beginning to feel that my Heavenly Father and Guru and you are always caring for me. Under Divine Mother’s wings I am safe.
Dear Mother, in regard to your plans of sharing the teaching of the Master, I have not had an inspiration. I will continue to think and pray for this. And when I think of something, I will write you.
I am eating quite a few eggs each week. I think about one or sometimes two a day. I also drink a bottle of milk again each morning. Cheese I eat whenever it is served, but we don’t have it too often. But I have the feeling that milk and eggs are building my body now. I have no bad effects from them. My body is functioning better now because I asked God to help me. Or, rather, I am asking God to take over.
Unity I have not yet written, but I will write. I will write today yet. I will write about the sheets and blankets also. I have written once, I think. I will ask Ella to do this for me. I am altogether sure that she will do it for me with great joy in her heart.
Dear Mother, you ask if my friend knows the teachings as we do. Yes, my friend does, for there is only one teaching and that is love. I love that prayer, “The Unfailing Prayer.” I am going to memorize it. It is so strong; the prayer has risen from a searching soul’s heart.
Dear Papa, you say that your letter which accompanied the package had no special purpose. It had the greatest mission in the world; that is, to spread love.
Dear Mother, my nails and teeth are fine. My teeth will be checked and, if anything is wrong, they will be fixed before I leave here. Candy I eat very little. I will let you guess when I am supposed to be leaving here. You are always pretty good about guessing what time it is. God only knows the date and my next assignment. I only have an idea about the time when I leave this forest and go to the next forest.
Fruit we do not get here very much; I mean, fresh fruit. We can buy canned fruit in the P.X., but I do not have the feeling for doing it. This morning I shared the chocolate with my friends, and I also gave Richard Shim one of my sermons. The chocolate was very good. My friend has a sweet tooth, although he tries to replace sweet thoughts of God for the sweets. Please don’t send any fruit. It does not pay and God is managing everything pretty good without a fresh basket of fruit each day.
Thank you for wanting to send me the interpretation of the Gita. Your idea is sweet, that is what counts. But I have all I can handle right now. What I could use quite well, please – and thank you so much – is a booklet of three-cent stamps. I am enclosing some stamps that I had a little trouble with. All right?
I have no trouble what-so-ever reading your letters, dear Mother. But how about mine? Just write me or think of me as the thoughts come into your mind. Whether it is about the sermons or the office or the home, everything has the same love in it. It seems that I have covered quite a few of your questions now. What is the name of my friend and where is he from? Which one? The one from Kula, Maui or the one from Alabama?
I am going to be thrifty. I don’t know how it happened, but this is already the third page.
It is worth the effort, my dear Ones. People say, “If you give someone a finger, they will take the whole hand.” But what difference does that make? Does not God give you His whole Hand when you lift only a finger for Him? I was so happy today about something. Twice it happened. One boy first asked me if I prayed for him and then asked me to please do so. And another boy asked me to please pray for him and his wife when I go to church. I told the boy that if I do not go to church tonight, I will still pray for him before I fall asleep.
I had lent the other boy a dollar about two weeks ago. I did not think of getting it back from him. But when I spoke to him of God and love and asked him if he needed anything, he said that he will give me the dollar tomorrow. He is working for someone else in the kitchen and that way earns a little extra money.
Please, please, use my money. Keep it flowing. God looks out for my everyday need. Today I came a little late for supper. But there was plenty left. At the moment there were no canned pears left. The cook wanted to open a new can for me. But I did not want him to do that. I thanked him for his kind offer. A little later I received a canned pear from someone who had not eaten theirs. God knows our needs. There is no more need to worry. He is keeping His ever-loving eyes on His children.
May your faith grow like a little mustard seed.
God bless you,
Your boy forever, Peter
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May 18, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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It is such a joy to work for God. You just don’t get tired when you work for Him. Yesterday’s work in the kitchen was so wonderful. It was no work. And because I did it out of brotherly love, the Word of God was spread so wonderfully. Earning the usual ten dollars would never have been so great a reward as working for the Father. My Father pays His workers so generously.
It is a beautiful morning. There is the promise of a rich day in the sky and in my heart. I arose early this morning, took a nice shower and then sat quietly in the fresh morning air heavy with the scent of flowers.
Have a beautiful day, my dear Ones.
Your boy, Peter
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May 20, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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May I thank you for your many letters. They are so good and so real. Only love and truth is real. May I only thank you tonight so I can rest a little bit longer. Your letters are always like God-sent, just at the right moment. God knows our needs.
The vitamins and chocolate came also. I am so happy about everything – very happy.
My friend’s address is Pvt. Matea Infante, U.S. 56195924, Co. D – 7th Bn., M.R.T.C., Camp Pickett, Virginia.
I don’t think it pays for Harry to send me anything since I am not staying here too much longer. I am scheduled to finish training here by the 19th of June. But God only knows what happens then. Life’s training will continue whether we stand here or there. We should not let dates confuse us.
Are you still thinking of those German books?
God is wonderful in the lightening and rain.
Your boy, forever, Peter
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May 21, 1953
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My dear Mother, Papa and Brother Hellmut,
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A blue sky is above with the opening of this day. Although it is a training day today, I feel it will be a day of rest. Yesterday I spent it in the kitchen. I spent the day with God in the kitchen. I could not have done the work alone. He talked to me while I swept the floor and wiped the table.
A letter from you came also, dear Mother, in which you told me about a package that was being born in someone’s mind and heart: my brother’s and yours. You are carrying a share of my burden, dear Mother, in spending your time to write me. The days are much lighter because of you. Only the good things we do will live after us, so let us only do good and speak kind words. May you know that God is with you always.
Your boy, always, Peter
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May 22, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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Yesterday is over, so our lives will be over one day. But the tree will only be dropping its leaves. I am writing you early in the morning. It is a little after six. The plants and animals have had a nice rest. There is a promise of a rich day in the air. I am sitting on a big rock. He is my brother, too, but as yet I have not learned to hear his silent language.
Yesterday came the necessary letter from Reverend Bernard. Everything is taken care of now. Reverend Bernard also wrote me a wonderful letter a few days ago. All these wonderful letters and wishes help me so much. I am still a young baby in need of tender care and protection.
Your boy who loves you very much,
Always, Peter
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May 23, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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Thank you SO much for your love and letters. I am feeling just fine. I am just about ready to go to church. It is a wonderful day. How could it be otherwise? Everything is wonderful because God, our Heavenly Father, made everything. And He made everything perfect. I am enclosing a little something of the forest and Peter. The forest, that is where I rest and write and think of my Heavenly Father and you.
Your boy forever and forever, Peter
God bless you all, my dear Ones, and may there be peace.
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May 24, 1953
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My dear Papa and my dear Mother and my dear Brother Hellmut,
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It is morning; it is a peaceful morning. May I come in and have breakfast with you? It is so nice to be all together. Let us not forget to pray and thank our Heavenly Father for providing for us again. He goes to a lot of trouble to feed and clothe us. How happy we are if someone thanks us for a kindness. God is the Giver of all gifts. Should we not daily send Him a letter of thanks? It would make me feel pretty sad if I would never receive any mail from you. I wonder how God feels when He receives no “Thank You” notes.
I just had an idea. If there is a dollar still left of the five dollars, would you please give it to the mailman? He is such a nice man. And please give him my best regards and thank him for delivering the mail to our little house. You see, that will make his days just a little brighter. Whenever he will pass our little house and deliver letters, his eyes will shine a little brighter because kind people live inside the little yellow house. If you were a mailman and Master would live on your route, would it not make you happy to bring a letter to such a kind man?
When I read one of your dear letters this morning, my dear Mother, I knew what it was that made your letters beautiful, why they help me and bring me strength. It is because your write to me out of love. And love creates the greatest masterpieces ever created. Feeble hands become steady and skilled when they work to do something for others. I read some articles in the magazine but could not find in them the joy that your letters bring to me. Of what avail is anything we do if it does not bring peace to others? So, the thing to do is to do everything out of love.
Have you had any idea already for your plan? The idea is to make someone happy who was not smiling before. If those persons in S.R.F. want to do something like sending one letter or a little package once a week to someone hungry or someone in the hospital, then it might be an idea. You know, a letter or package with that personal touch of love. Each thing in the package is touched with love. Oh, it would be a wonderful thing.
I think everyone would look forward to the hour when he writes the letter of love to the lonely. And when he buys the little things for the package, he will be filled with joy. And when he walks to the post office to mail the letter or package, he will surely feel that God is walking on his side. The whole deed must be borne out of love. That is what will bring the peace.
Everyone should do a little deed each week himself. To bring lots of things together and then have an assembly line affair is not the idea. Those who receive the gift can feel the spirit in which it was given. And if there should come a thank-you letter (which we should not be waiting for) we can write them then about the way we would like to bring peace and joy to the world. When the hearts have opened, we can invite them to join us in our humble way of bringing happiness to the world.
In doing something like this we will bring peace to the world far sooner than any other way. It is only love that can unite all nations in eternal peace. And it is eternal peace that we are longing for. A peace that lasts maybe thirty years is not a great victory. So, we must be prepared to work harder if we want peace for always. God does so much for us. Here will be a little way in which we can show our appreciation to our Heavenly Father. That is a way of sending God a thank-you note.
Sending me a little thought from Master Said . . . is a fine idea, dear Mother. It was thoughtful of you to send me the vegetarian paper. I did not need it, though. Would you really like me to save it and send it back to you? If so, I will send it to you at the next opportunity.
About getting the names and addresses of the needy, I know that will not be a problem. When the love and the desire to help is there, we will see many thirsty souls waiting in front of our door.
I am feeling wonderful. I am really resting this weekend in the forest. My Heavenly Father is so wonderful.
Your boy forever and forever,
Peter
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Sunday 1 P.M
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My dear ones in the little yellow house,
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When I finished this letter to you this morning, I put it quickly into an envelope and sealed the envelope right away. That was foolish to do. I realized as soon as the letter was sealed that I should never be in a hurry to seal a letter. Because sealing a letter is just like saying good-bye. Why should I have a good feeling to know that another letter to you is all ready to be mailed? There was something wrong. I shall try to keep my letters open from now on until there is no more chance to add anything. In keeping my letter to you open, my mind will also remain open to new ideas; and I will also remain longer together with you. If we want to know the ever new joy of God, we must never seal anything.
I am so happy to add to this letter for you. This is such a wonderful lesson God has shown me. Yesterday, I believe it was, God helped me to understand something that has caused me a lot of difficulties. Some boy asked me if I had a nice girl back home. I said, “No, I only have my mother.” The boy could not quite understand and believe. But I said that I do not lie. That sounded like a pretty strong answer to me afterwards. There was something wrong in saying, “I do not lie.” I could feel inside that I had to ask God to help me understand my uncertain feelings.
Then the little voice said, “Only God is true in all things. You say many lies that you still do not recognize as such.” As we become more sensitive to truth and grow closer to God, we will lie less and less. But not until we are with our Heavenly Father once more can we say that we do not lie. Jesus said something like this in the New Testament. Jesus said, “Do not call anyone good but my Father.” We can only try to do good, but God alone, and those who have reached His kingdom, are good.
It is really wonderful to become less and less attached to material things for security and, instead, become more and more attached to God for security. One morning my belt buckle had disappeared. I guess someone needed it or thought he needed it more than I did. The first second I noticed my loss I was a little upset, but only for a little while until God showed me how to feel about this. No one will take anything from you that is not rightfully your own. And to lose anything material is really no loss. I felt sad on account of the person who took the buckle without asking. He lost something which is eternal: HONESTY. His loss is great indeed. And so I blessed the hands that were misguided that they might learn to do only those things which are right.
I would like to add something yet to the idea in regard to spreading Master’s teachings and peace. To add a short poem, bookmarker, or so onto each letter might, at first, be a good idea. But it must be short because, first, the people want to nibble on the new food before they take a big bite. When the people like the taste, they will then ask for more out of themselves.
This morning I saw a baby rabbit very close to me. He was so cute. In the pictures I sent, you can see a little of what the forest is like. It is very beautiful. Somewhere in-between this letter I laid down on a soft bed of dry leaves and slept soundly.
May I wish you happy, happy days filled with the joy of God. If we trust Him, we will not need a watch tonight. He will always let us be at the right place at the right time.
Your boy who loves you very, very much but not enough yet.
May God bless you, Peter
Someone gave me his extra belt buckle when I had lost mine.
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May 25, 1953
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My dear Ones,
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Thank you so much for that last wonderful package, beautiful prayer and loving letter. I was just on the verge of asking for a little news from our garden when you, dear Papa, told me something about it.
I am getting real tired now and can only try to send you my love. But that is really the only thing I ever try to send you.
Dear Hellmut, don’t be upset about the water being turned down. To keep the peace in your heart is the important thing. And God is testing you to see if you have learned to be calm whether the water is hot or cold.
The moon has traveled up into the heavens by now.
Your boy, Peter
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May 28, 1953
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My best Friends and loved Ones,
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May I thank you for your sweet letter, dear Mother? I read it in the stillness of the evening forest. Not only did your letter make me feel very glad, but it also touched someone else’s heart. I hope you did not mind that a friend read your letter. My friend said, “I never received a letter like that. It makes me feel good inside. It does something to my heart.” Others can feel your love, dear Mother, and become glad. Your love is not so personal that it can only make my heart glad; it makes everyone’s heart glad.
These stamps came just in time. I had the feeling they would. Thanks a lot. And thanks, also, for Unity and the S.R.F. Magazine. I am enjoying everything.
It is noon and a very beautiful and glad day.
Your boy, Peter
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May 30, 1953
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My dear Mother, my dear Papa and my dear Brother,
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For about three hours God has been trying to tell me something, but I did not hear his voice. My ears were stuffed up with the cotton called Pride. I was so anxious to write; the hours were passing by and my pen made only futile attempts. Three times I started to write a letter to someone but what I said was not right. Rather than saying something wrong, I kept quiet.
Then I thought, “I will write my dear parents. It is always easy to write them.” And, as I started my letter to you, I realized my mistake. I am entirely dependent upon God for all these letters I have written in the past. He wanted to remind me that I cannot write a letter that will bring peace. So you can see how helpless I am without His help.
All these letters I am writing you – if they are good – they are from God and if the letters are not bringing peace, then they are written by Peter. They are written by a Peter who thinks he is a pretty good boy. But mine can never be the credit. He created us and everything good connected with our lives. The day is slipping by and not one letter is written, I thought. I was getting anxious. God knew what He was doing when He let me sit unable to write something good. Now I am glad that He did what He has done. Please think of this, my dear Ones: If my letters bring peace to you, then give God the credit.
Thank you so much for your dear letters, my Mother. I am so happy they made you happy. About the pictures? I asked my friend for the negatives, but he would rather not cut the roll of negatives into sections. There are twenty negatives on the file and he does not like to cut it up. Maybe he will have some prints made for me. I will ask. Don’t worry if I can’t get duplicates for these pictures. Other opportunities will arise when someone will take a picture.
Dear Mother, don’t praise me for looking well and happy. It is God who has fed me and clothed me and given me sunshine. When you see a beautiful rose, do you say to the rose, “Oh, you are such a beautiful red rose; I praise you for growing yourself so perfectly?” We usually praise God when we see such perfection in nature. He is the only One whom we may rightfully praise for anything good. I could never grow the food for myself to make me healthy and strong.
Dear Mother, try to be calm and put into God’s loving hands what will come next. I will only be changing positions when I am finished with the training here. The same loving Father will watch over me wherever He may send me. My life will not change as I travel from one village to the next. Only as I change inside will there be a change that is important. If I can keep this in mind, I will be able to remain calm as the end of this training period approaches.
Yesterday I noticed a little green louse crawling over the back of my hand. The hairs of my hand were like a forest for the insect. If the louse would have known how far she would have to travel before reaching the end of the forest, she might have become upset. But the louse leaves the future to God and the present moment also to God. The louse overcomes one obstacle after another and leaves the rest to God.
The other day I was peacefully eating my meal. Suddenly and unexpectedly, the corporal announced that in five minutes there would be a formation. I got all upset inside for a while because I could not possibly finish my meal in five minutes. But it was really not necessary to become upset if I would have trusted in God instead of looking at the watch. God will give his children the time to eat what they need. If I would not have known about the five-minute deadline, I could have eaten another five minutes in peace. And a little food eaten in peace is better then a lot eaten in haste.
Two days ago I was doing a certain thing. Someone said that I did not have to do that. I told the boy or, rather, God told the boy that “It is not necessary, but it is nice.” When we do everything with a glad heart, we will be doing only nice things.
I received a wonderful letter from the Huebners yesterday. Mr. Huebner writes with his heart, with a heart that knows suffering, but a heart that also knows God. It is a letter written not for me alone but for thirsty souls all over. Letters written out of such devotion can spread the light and teachings in a wonderful way. I let a friend read the letter. He told me when he was finished that the letter made him think. He asked me if there were also Italian people in our church. The boy is Italian or from Italian parents. I don’t know for sure. Can you see what such letters can do? I am sure that Mr. Huebner did not mind that I let someone read his letter. Two or maybe three people read it, to be exact.
Anything we think or say or write or do must be so good and true that we would not want to hide it from anyone in the world. Every thought must be a true and loving thought. What we think inside will radiate through our eyes and the touch of our hands. The people around us can feel our thoughts. We must learn to do everything so right that we would not care if we were made out of glass and everyone could look inside of us.
I have been feeling a lot better physically this last week. I even looked forward to the physical training period. I am very happy about that. I would not be surprised if those vitamins Papa sent me have a part to play. I am taking them regularly. I remember the time I looked with skeptical eyes at all vitamin and mineral tablets. It takes sometimes the round-about way to convince us. I am sure that God has a part to play in the making of those tablets.
When I am finished with my training here, I am scheduled to have a ten-day leave, plus two or three days travel time. Maybe I have more than three days. I don’t know yet. It all depends upon where my next assignment will be. The army does not pay for my carfare home. It will only pay for the transportation to my next station. If I should get stationed somewhere in this neighborhood or somewhere on this coast – I am intending to go to New York for my leave. Is that all right with you? It would really be too far and too expensive to come to Los Angeles.
I have the feeling in my heart that I would like to see Aunt Ruth and all our other good friends and relatives again. I would even like to stay a few days with Ruth in Woodmere on Long Island. There are so many people in New York who have helped us so much. I would like to go to them and say thank you. I am going to write to Ruth and ask her how she would feel about my coming to Woodmere. Just in case I should be stationed in this area, I will make this arrangement.
I won’t know my orders until the last week of my training. I will let you know as soon as I know more. Until that time we can do nothing else but try to be still and awake that we may know the little needs of others.
The evening has come. The tips of the tallest trees will soon be hiding the sun. The refreshing evening wind is awakening. The tall trees and their many little leaves are bowing their crowns. Maybe this is a gesture of reverence to the departing sun? I think the sun will give me the light to write for another two hours.
Just now something unexpectedly nice has happened. A little grey squirrel came to within a few feet of where I was writing. I had thrown a few crumbs of cake on the ground for the animals. Usually I can find a procession of ants carrying the food away. That is all right. But when my more timid brothers come, then it makes me even happier.
How is our little garden doing? Is everything growing all right? Maybe it is time to sow a few more seeds? I am enjoying the nuts you have sent me. I am eating a few almonds every day.
Don’t worry about your looks on the pictures you had taken in the photo mat. I will always know you as my dear Mother.
Good-bye my dear Ones. May God bless you all. All praise belongs to Him. He is the artist of all the beauty which exists.
Your boy, whose pen He moves when Peter is in tune,
Peter
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